Monologue: The sound of wedding bells is giving me a headache!

"Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give." - Cass Daley

Summertime in Toronto is amazing! As residents of the great white north most of us look forward to these three months of basking in the sun enjoying the patio life and wearing minimal clothing. This summer is going to be different for me though. My brother is getting married in less than two months and check this ... He is marrying the girl next door (literally!) This girl also happens to be one of my oldest friends in the city... Little did I know that one of my best friends and future sister-in-law had "BRIDEZILLA" tendencies!!!

Before I go any further I want to shed some light of what a Pakistani wedding entails... A wedding in my culture aint just a pretty ceremony with lots of free booze (actually there is not a drip of alcohol present). The wedding usually takes place over 4-5 days depending on the families and what they decided on. 5 different locations are sought out and not to mention catering done different for each event. It requires months of practice of choreographed dancing for one of the events that takes place before the actual wedding day. It requires putting ridiculous amounts of henna on your hands as to show you are celebrating a wedding (mind you I can't bear the look of it on my own hands). Wedding outfits are custom made for every person in the family and their cats and dogs practically. I know weddings are huge in every culture but in ours tradition has taken the reins and we are sent in a frenzy... From wrapping random fruits baskets to preparing garlands for the bride's family when they enter the wedding hall. We are talking like a big Broadway production ... With the bride and groom as the stars headlining the show and a group of 200 supporting roles a.k.a family and extended family and their extended family, and this number doesn't even include the 500 or so extras who get to be the guests of this huge production.

Now that you have an idea of what a South Asian wedding is like let me dive in and bring you up to speed with the madness that has been going on for the last year or so. My family is based in Dubai, the bride is from Toronto so she wanted the wedding here. Since my parents have a lot of ties in Pakistan and Dubai this wedding is taking place in three countries!! Insane or what?? We got 10 days of events and dinners here before I jet of to Pakistan for more ceremonies and then off to Dubai for the finale! Personally I think its ridiculous I feel like we are honeymooning with the bride and groom traveling to all these places but as the sister of the groom I don't have much say in this...

Last weekend the cards were finally ready to be written (not without a big fuss that the bride and groom did not like the font) and so a 8 hour calligraphy session ensued ... In other words, writing out the names on the invitation cards for the wedding (thus my blogging hiatus). I figured since the wedding is in Toronto we will have a smaller guest list (I mean how many people can my family have gotten to know in 7 years??).. BOY was I wrong!! My fingers are numb from writing out 600 cards and then I got the news.... Nat you gotta divide the piles and start delivering them if you don't have mailing addresses.... HECKKK NO... It aint my wedding? Why am I suckered into this stuff. Sure I am the only person from my immediate family who is in the city right now but cot dayum why do I have to suffer. Sure my brother is the first to get married in the family so the excitement is up a notch but really do we have to go through all this?? Let me take you back a few months... When the wedding cards were not even in the picture. I went weeks where for hours on end all I heard was "OMG!! What should we give as gifts for all the guests to take home?", "do you like these heart shaped candles", "do you know any photographers", or "Hey Nat, wanna come cake tasting with me" and not to forget the 10 bridal shows that were attended in a span of 1 month. Everything from the colour of the bangles her friends should wear to the shape of the cake has been made into a production. Tears have been shed, tantrums thrown and when I'm about to give up I get told " she is young... You have to be the wiser one and guide her"!!

Now ... I am not a hater and hope to say my own vows some day, but not at the expense of driving everyone around me to the brink of insanity. I can't wait for this wedding to be over.. I have lost track of reality in the midst's of choosing venues and tasting 20 versions of chocolate mousse... I need a vacation A.S.A.P.

edit: note to "M" ... I gave you the heads up that I was going to blog about this and I hope u can take it as it is.. A little insight into a paki wedding... some details have been given a little umphh for effect. You know im happy for both of you and i shall be dancing the night away when the time comes.